Most fortune cookies contain a tiny slip of paper with a positive note printed on it. You know, like “Good news will soon come” or “You will enjoy good health and prosperity.” But how genuine are those general phrases? For all the realists and Wednesday Addams types out there, a new kind of after-dinner treat is on the way. One that’s much more honest and completely hilarious. They’re called Misfortune Cookies, and you’re going to love—wait, we mean hate—them.
Made by Pechkeks in Germany, the brutally honest biscuits have actually been around since 2013 and the original messages were written in German. By 2015, the brand began producing English versions and now, as Confectionery News reports, the treats are finally entering the U.S. and Canadian markets.
The cookies can be rather, um, blunt. Messages vary from “Life is a symphony — and you’re playing the kazoo” to “At least I believe in you. Me, a piece of paper.” Hah! Burrrrn.
The brand says that these cookies are for “doom-mongers,” a.k.a. the people who “start talking about skin cancer as soon as the first ray of sunshine peeks through the black clouds.” So, if you’re into that sort of thing, you can buy them on the Pechkeks site for about $14.
As for the taste, don’t let the jet-black cookies scare you off. They’re colored with the non-artificial colorant carbon and have a similar taste to your standard, run-of-the-mill fortune cookies. In fact, Andrew Pohl, the creator and CEO of Pechkeks says that the taste is “maybe a little bit better because we produce only in Germany with regional corn.”
He also notes that these cookies are bit crunchier than other fortune cookies due to the fact that they produce their cookies every two months and always have fresh ones in stock. And if you need more gloom and doom in your life, Pechkeks also sells everything from anti-greeting cards to mopey travel mugs. Happy Friday!
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